- The Straight Men Who Have Sex with Trans Women - VICE
- Do gay men like penis more than straight women?
- 15 Signs You’re a Gay Misogynist
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- Born gay or made gay?
It is an innate desire, fixed at birth. Forget Freudian theory and all the other psycho-babble. Biology is destiny. Their book is easily the best summary of evidence from dozens of biological studies into the causes and correlates of homosexuality. They conclude that sexual orientation is overwhelmingly innate.
Social or family influences have little or no impact. Blaming parents and childhood upbringing for a child's gayness is mistaken and unfair. The idea that people become gay by seduction or choice is, they say, not supported by scientific research and empirical evidence. I agree. No one sits down one day and decides to be gay - or straight. Most lesbians and gays say they felt "different" from a very young age, long before they had any awareness of sexual desire.
- Why Straight Women Like Gay Porn - Rambling Rach;
- Companions on the Journey: Sponsors and Spouses in the RCIA.
- ‘I Was a 4-Year Queer’: 15 Straight(ish) People on Their Gay Time in College.
- Athol, Massachusetts (Images of America).
While this suggests that sexuality is formed unconsciously by early childhood at the latest, it does not necessarily mean we are born with a pre-fixed sexual orientation. The authors are right to say that biological factors play a role. It suggests a significant genetic component in the causality of homosexuality - and, presumably, in the origins of heterosexuality as well.
Wilson and Rahman argue the other determinant of sexual orientation is hormonal exposure during pregnancy. They document studies showing differences between gay and straight people with respect to a number of physiological traits that are associated with hormonal influences. These include physique, hearing, brain structure, finger lengths, penis size gay men tend to be better endowed than straight men , and the age of puberty on average lesbians mature later than straight women, and gay men earlier than heterosexual men.
This is convincing stuff, but not entirely so.
The Straight Men Who Have Sex with Trans Women - VICE
If genes determine our sexual orientation we would expect that in cases of identical twins where one was gay the other would be gay too - in every case. But, in fact, in only just over half the cases are both twins gay. The same lack of complete concordance is found in hormone-associated physical attributes. Not all gay men, for example, have a larger than average penis. These exceptions lead me to conclude that while genes and hormones may, like male birth order, predispose a person to a particular sexual orientation, they do not determine it.
They are significant influences, not the sole cause. Other factors are also at work. Social expectations, cultural values and peer pressure, for instance, help push many of us towards heterosexuality. Without these pro-straight influences, more people might be lesbian, gay or bisexual. Wilson and Rahman's biological determinist thesis has another major flaw.
Do gay men like penis more than straight women?
If we are all born either gay or straight, how do they explain people who switch in mid-life from fulfilled heterosexuality to fulfilled homosexuality and vice versa? The singer Tom Robinson was a happy, well-adjusted gay man who, to his own surprise, one day met and fell in love with a woman. He is now equally happy and well-adjusted in his straight relationship. If he was hard-wired at birth to desire men, how can he now desire women? The authors have no credible explanation for bisexuality; claiming it barely exists. Some research measuring sexual arousal shows that men who claim to be bisexual are predominantly turned on by other men, not women.
But this is highly suspect. Swapping gossip with the girlfriend of a man who was previously my long-term lover, we agree he was definitely aroused by both the male and female form; equally delighted and sexually voracious with a cock or a cunt. This is something I'm gonna do for me. He wanted Alicia to be more than someone he paid for sex, but there were multiple factors working against them both. Like many impoverished trans women, Alicia was addicted to drugs. She called Matt a few times desperate for cash. She looked horrible; she was thirty, forty, pounds lighter than she was when I'd first met her.
It broke my heart. It was too painful to watch Alicia's descent into addiction, so Matt stopped seeing her and resumed living in secrecy.
15 Signs You’re a Gay Misogynist
Six or seven years after he last saw Alicia, he attempted to find her again to no avail. She was gone, her online ads deleted. Last year, after decades of living a double life, Matt was finally ready for a partner. He became serious about finding the right trans woman to spend his life with. But where to look? There's been an active market for trans personal ads on Craigslist for years.
Clicking into the m4t category of Misc. Romance, you'll find reams of posts by trans amorous men. There is a weighty symbolism to Craigslist's subcategories: Casual Encounters is, as one would expect, the most popular. If you're cruising there, all bets are off. As the guys see it, social graces are checked at the door. Then, over in Misc. Romance, again and again, you'll find posts by guys professing their exhaustion with Casual Encounters.
They've had enough; they want more.
There is a tenderness to the forum—the same users post diligently week after week in pursuit of their transgender soul mate, and stock photos of roses often accompany their ads. With the rise of services like OkCupid, Craigslist and other trans community backchannels are becoming less necessary than they once were. In recent years OkCupid has integrated categories for transgender people.
Matt made a throwaway profile on OkCupid just to see who was out there. She even told me she wasn't gonna live more than ten years.
Born gay or made gay?
Alicia looked healthy. According to her profile, she had a job and was looking for a relationship. Judging by the smile in her photos, she was happy. In the years since they'd separated, she quit drugs and began working in advocacy for the transgender community. She remembered him and agreed to meet, but the wall she'd built remained intact. I want more and I can give more. I held her hand and walked down the street. That was my first time not being afraid. It was hard to convince Alicia to let down her wall, but Matt understood why. It happens all the time.
The looks, the stares, sometimes they say things. I remember our first date where we were together and it wasn't for money and sex. It was a date. We were walking to downtown Brooklyn, to sit on the rocks under the Brooklyn Bridge. I held her hand, and walked down the street and we sat on the rocks and had a really romantic night. A door across the room from us suddenly opened. Alicia passed through it, coming from the kitchen with a fresh plateful of empanadas.
Matt grinned like a little kid. He tried to pull her onto the sofa but she refused, saying, "You two talk! She was barefoot in a floor length, striped jersey summer dress. Eventually she gave in, and took a seat beside him. Matt and Alicia share a "normal" life together.
They're both in their forties, they both work full time, and they both take care of their bodies.